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Happy Black Friday! The day of the year where people get into fistfights over inexpensive televisions and free toasters. I actually used to work at Best Buy in the computer department. I was just a high school computer nerd trying to explain to people what megahertz and megabyte meant.
They warned us about Black Friday. They told us what to expect.
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I was not ready. No one was ready. We prepared like soldiers before a battle.
Our boss gave a rousing speech encouraging all the troops in blue & khaki. There was this computer called eMachines. It was constructed by the devil himself. It was a giant piece of shit more likely to break down than open your email.
But it was cheap. Both in cost and in construction. Just holding one in your arms you could feel the terribleness. As if it had an aura of crap surrounding it.
The people rushed in like a crazed mob. Yelling “Do you still have any eMachines??!!” I felt I was honor bound to tell people not to buy them. I begged them, “spend a few hundred more and get a real computer.” No one listened. No one cared.
They had “low price fever” and it turned them into Christmas shopping zombies. A dirty secret that Best Buy fails to keep hidden is that they don’t give a crap about the money they make from computers.
All they care about is the Performance Service Plans. 3 year extended warranties. In the biz we called them PSPs for short. Pattern Magic 2 English Pdf Free Download here. We’d keep track of how many plans we sold behind the counter. They made it like a competition for all the sales people. And if you didn’t sell enough they would pull you aside and give you the business. Political Theory By Rajeev Bhargava Pdf Creator on this page.
Some bosses would yell, others would pull a grandma and be “very disappointed in you.” Somehow, some way, we were supposed to convince this angry mob that their computers needed a PSP. Sometimes I felt conflicted about selling these extended warranties. You already get a one year manufacturer’s warranty and if anything is going to break, it is usually in the first year. But these eMachines were literally garbage and I actually felt like the PSP might be a good idea for this horde of nincompoops. But they were all in a rush to buy their thing and get to the next crazy deal. I was not able to convince them of much.
After Christmas was over, those eMachines started coming back to the store. One by one people brought their broken PCs to the repair window. A few with disappointed children at their hip. “Why did Santa bring us a broken computer?” Some yelled at us for selling them crap.
In my head I was like, “I tried to warn you dipshit!” But out loud I just apologized and took the blame. A year passes and we reconvene at our pre-Friday battle meeting. They announce the new item that will attract the shopping zombie masses. It’s a printer. A free printer. With rebate, of course. (People don’t know it, but 80% of folks don’t ever send in their rebate and printer manufacturers make all their money on ink anyway.) Was this a good printer?
No it was not. It was a tiny, noisy, slow, ink guzzling monster made from the cheapest, most flimsy plastic imaginable. The sample printouts were awful and laid so much ink on the page that it wrinkled the paper. Next to this printer was the HP 722c. A marvel of printer engineering. Fast and economical.
Built like a tank. And one of the first printers to give truly photo quality results. It was worth every penny and would probably save you money in ink over that free piece of crap. They all still got the free piece of crap. And when we ran out of the crap, people were like, “Where is the crap?” And we were like, “You didn’t get here at the ass crack of dawn. What do you expect?” And they were like, “What’s the next crappiest thing you have?” It soon became clear to me.
On Black Friday no one wants anything of value to gift their loved ones. They just want the crappiest thing that will technically check off that box on their list. And that is what Christmas is all about. I can give some (minimal) advice! I am still new at doing this myself, and basically I’m just winging it so far There are stereotypical “archetypes” for each card, as we all know, and there are also certain symbolism and colors that match up with each card.
For example, The Fool card generally depicts a character standing on the edge of a cliff, sometimes with a butterfly, usually with a red rose, and a dog at his feet; the Fool is looking towards the horizon with hope and enthusiasm, not really aware of how close his feet are to the edge. He looks ready to just start walking right off the cliff to go about what he’s doing - whether because he’s optimistic about his chances or just naive is up to interpretation. I am trying to capture those qualities and images in my own copy of The Fool for my Tarot of Ooo.
You can go along with those sorts of images, or just completely come up with your own visual representation. Whatever you find suits yourself, your theme, and your cards. I probably won’t stick to every one so concretely myself, but The Fool just screamed being done that way. When it comes to pop culture decks, it seems to be easiest to use characters, scenarios, and environments to represent the card archetypes.
For instance, Finn the Human from Adventure Time is the obvious (to me) choice for The Fool in a tarot deck - he is innocent and optimistic, eager, and sometimes a little naive. He fits the qualities of the card almost perfectly, and that is why I chose him. I think I plan to use Princess Bubblegum in science mode for The Magician. Taking time to reflect on the card’s meanings, and how they appear and come across to you, can help you decide the best imagery and symbolism that you want to use in your own cards. Looking at other decks online, seeing how they do it, can help you see some ways to interpret each card, as well as possibly give you inspiration for your own art styles or themes!
Taking time to meditate on each card’s meaning, or even coming up with your own (though this is more for oracle decks than anything), will really help in knowing the cards, which can help you in deciding what can best be used to visually describe. You can also go with a more abstract theme, and not rely completely on the symbolism. There are many amazing tarot decks that don’t use the stereotypical characters, but find other interpretation for the cards and use images for that. [] is a good example of that, in my eyes - the images aren’t exactly abstract, but they also don’t completely follow the typical and usual designs for the cards. If you have a thing for photography, you can go out and take your own pictures for the card art.
If you have any Photoshop skills they can then be modified and adjusted further. You can also go a completely abstract route, and base your images more on what you *feel* from the deck rather than what you *see* when you look at the cards. This can be a blend of colors, patterns, miscellaneous images, even collages Whatever you want to have your deck be themed around and look like, fricking go for it! You can also modify a deck of playing cards to be a tarot deck, as you can see []. Here is another Tumblr post about []. Here is another set of links on [].
Or, you can just do straight up cartomancy with a deck of standard playing cards, which is explained []. [] is cool too.
[], if you want to come up with your own card meanings. There are printable tarot decks too, if you have a printer!:D • [] (this was my first deck, actually, but I bought it) • [] • [] • [] • [] (more a how-to than anything) • [] • [] • [] • [] • [] I’m gonna throw you some links, that are all external and not from Tumblr, so you’ll be redirected to other webpages.
• [] • [] • [] • [] • [] • [] • [] • [] • [] If anyone else has any other tips, feel free to add them!:D. So, let’s talk about Derek Hale: work version. (I have headcanons where Derek stays home. He would be an awesome at home daddy. But here I would talk about a whole other headcanon) I’m talking a few years in the future, with a Hale! Pack stable and safe (and everybody alive.
Seriously fuck you Jeff). The humans from the pack has decided that draping your half naked body on every surfaces and hunting little bunnies under the moon are not good ways to contribute to society, so everybody went looking for a job.
Derek –who didn’t care either way and kind of saw the point of earning as much money possible with the sheer volume of food consumed on pack nights- was the first one to start searching. The sheriff obviously tried to steal him as soon as he put a foot outside the house, because his son-in-law is a great man and comes with a lie detector and super sniffer built in.
Stiles put a stop to it as soon as Derek’s nightmares and PTSD raised their head again. No husband of his will jump in terror when surprised by a kid. The only expressions Stiles allows on Derek’s face when kids are in the house are stupidly besotted smiles and teasing grimaces. Derek then vaguely suggested fireman but Stiles spent twenty minutes screeching loudly, snuggling him forcefully and catching every kid or pack member passing by until Derek stopped talking under the combined weight. That’s how Derek ends up working behind a desk in an assurance company a few towns over. Because he remembers being alone and so, so not ready to be an adult yet. And he remembers Laura’s eyes over an armful of paperwork that made no sense to them, the austere building towering over them and the nauseating fear of doing, saying something wrong and losing their only chance to pay Peter hospital’s bills.
And he remembers a desk just like his, and the small middle aged woman behind it. He remembers how she smiled so sadly at them and how she helped them fill every form, patiently making sure they understood every steps to be made so that everything was done quickly. Derek has forgotten her name a long time ago, but he never forgot Laura’s smile when she praised their future plans, as meagre as they were. He never forgot sitting on the chair, eyes down, throat tight and, just for an afternoon, a stranger kindness finally helping them turn their life simpler for a while. So Derek would totally be the kind of employee who always comes in on time, is very respectful and works really hard. Because Derek cares.
So he would try to be as helpful as possible with the lost ones and would be uncompromising with the assholes. Let’s talk about his colleagues. Because you just know that at the beginning, people would be so wary of Derek. Derek who eats all his lunches at his desk and always politely refuses to go have a drink after work. Who’s quiet and frowns a lot and is huge.
Derek who, on a particularly bad Monday, gripped his keyboard so hard he broke it clean in two. Then his stapler. Derek who never talks about his private life. Derek who stared silently when Howard started gushing about Game of Thrones before simply telling him he didn’t liked TV. While drinking from his coffee mug emblazoned with the Stark’s coat of arms. George, from accounting, likes to preach after one beer that Hale must have been implanted here under witness protection. After two other drinks, he usually begins to cry over Hale’s biceps.
The whole table usually only nods gravely, agreeing with the two sentiments. Things start to change when the new wave of interns crashes on the company.
For unknown reasons, from all the interviewees, Derek choses Jeanine. Five feet -on tiptoes- of anxiety vibrating on her chair, ranting passionately for five minutes straight before remembering the original question, Jeanine. To say weirdest pairing was never seen is a sweet euphemism. Her first week are spent with the kid running everywhere like a beheaded chicken and scattering forgotten effects everywhere.
On Friday, Howard finds her locked from the outside in the copy room and basically free fighting the printer. Pictures are taken. Bets starts between cubicles over Derek throwing her through the window, like he did with a poor new malfunctioning stapler.
But Derek never loses his patience. He always listens when she babbles stressfully, then helps her sort the important things from the ones taking too much space in her brain. He seems to instinctively understand when to teach her new things and when to let her digest. Slowly Jeanine, less stressed out, becomes essential to the department. She is a fast thinker, a creative problem solver, and she multitasks like she was born with several independent brains. She still bumps into everyone’s desks, but they only learn not to put important stuffs near the edges and the problem is solved. James is the poor, shy intern chosen this year by John, crowned “worst supervisor” for several years.
Derek finds the kid on the edge of tears after making a mistake so bad he almost broke the company. Hale only sighs, then spend the whole evening helping him resolve the problem. The next day, he takes James with him and Jeanine for half an hour and teach them how to do it correctly by themselves.
After that, Jeanine and James basically created a fanclub. And, day after day, more people fall under Derek quiet charm. The IT guys all imprint on him when the man first pushes the door, broken keyboard in one hand and coffer for both of them in the other. They are weak creatures, and they love a man with good bedside manners.
Sarah spend two weeks without sleep, her kids teething and crying all the time, and then one day Derek comes in like a knight in shining armor with a mysterious handmade cream from a family recipe. The stuff is magical, clearly, or full of cocaine, and she’s so grateful she doesn’t even care. They drag him in the kitchen for lunch and the man blushes when a note full of heart and weird doodles of a horse/wolf/rat falls from his sandwich. He fixes Howard chair that has been creaking for months.
Now Derek is one of them. They still don’t know him that well, but he’s clearly the best and also the most wonderful eye candy they’ve ever had in their department, and they are keeping him forever. Now let’s be honest. Stiles would totally be the kind of husband that invade your workplace on your birthday.
So the whole department is in a meeting, and they all see Derek’s face goes funny. It’s something completely alien, surprised and soft and happy so everyone follows his gaze. There is a stranger sitting on Derek’s desk, wearing a violently blue and orange shirt with the words “Happy birthday Husband of Mine” plastered over it. When he sees the entire room looking at him, he waves and smiles. The rest of the meeting is excruciating. Nobody is even pretending to listen to the presentation. People start texting each other discreetly.
Jeanine and James are staring at Derek’s ridiculous face and keep elbowing each other so hard their chairs creak under the assault. The Boss keeps trying to talk about numbers, turning a blind eye to the high-school level of gossiping crawling around his meeting table. When he finally gives up, they empty the room in a rush and the Boss rolls his eyes. (He totally follows them just after. This is the somebody that married Hale. He needs to know).
And they all try really hard to look normal. They are normal people. But this is Derek Hale’s husband, and the guy isn’t the quiet, intellectual man they were kind of collectively picturing. He’s young and happy and so, so friendly. They come say Hi and the man (“call me Stiles”) just starts talking as if they have known each other for years. He high five Jeanine.
He coos over Sarah’s baby pictures (she still doesn’t know how she ended showing them to him in less than five minutes of knowing him). He talks geopolitics in games of thrones with Howard and the man looks moved to tears. He basically organizes a huge laser game party for the department and everybody writes it down dutifully in their agenda without protest. The man brought up enough cake and muffins for the whole building. I’ve always had this vision of Derek has someone who need to feel comfortable to be himself. So when Stiles is near, the change would be dramatic. I want his colleagues clubbed over the head by the whole Derek-when-Stiles-is-there thing.
Derek who smiles happily and blows on the candles drooping from the muffin. Derek that gets kissed and touched freely and openly, always keeping his husband close. Derek talking proudly of his husband’s job, and laughing at his jokes.
Derek teasing and smirking and hip checking Jeanne and trash talking George. Nobody works the whole afternoon, fascinated.
The IT guys come to install some software and get roped in the craziness. The cleaning lady ends up lecturing Hale on kids. In the middle of everything, the Boss is only seriously worried somebody is going to kidnap this man. He’s kind of disturbed at the idea that he could very well be the one to do it. He’s sure Stiles could make statistics fascinating.
He’s basically a social warlock. (Hope you liked it anon:D Please don’t hesitate to send prompt people, I will try to answer to all of them (as quickly as I can.
Ahem)) (Also, as always I am tagging,, because Sterek).